The Entertainment:

Today I have decided to undertake perhaps the grandest and most ambitious (perhaps impossible or ridiculous) task of my “adult” life. On June 20^th, 2010, the day of my twenty-first birthday I will endeavor to read all 100 of Time Magazine’s “All-Time 100 Greatest Novels since 1923” list. Several questions now arise in the mind of those currently reading this: 1. Why? 2. Why on your twenty-first? 3. Do you really think you can pull that off? 4. Haven’t you already read some of them? 5. When do you expect to finish? I will address all of these questions and concerns in systematic fashion. Currently St. John’s is kicking the ever-living feces out of UCONN (who I’ve hated since they defeated the blue-blooded, hard-working Duke Blue Devils [the squad featuring Shane Batier, Trajan Langdon, Elton Brand, Corey Maggette et. Al] only three weeks after two UCONN seniors [Rip Hamilton included] were suspended for drug possession w/intent to distribute, in the 1999-2000 NCAA Championship game, marking the first real heartbreak of my young life). Go St. John’s.

1. Why? I have several reasons for this undertaking. Primarily, I want to be better than my peers. I want to say that I have accomplished something meaningful as an adult. Meaningful to whom? To me. I have spent most of my life doing things with the intention of pleasing others (parents, peers, ego etc). I played football because my father was a football star in high school, [1] I started smoking pot to fit in while in college, I worked hard in school because my parents valued good grades, the list goes on. I want to read all 100 of these novels because when I am old and diabetic I want to be able to say I worked very hard and diligently to make both my heart and mind as strong as possible and that I did it with literature. I want to become a living exemplar of the value of books. Furthermore, I’m a fully-declared creative writing major, and I don’t like the sinking feeling that I’ve been missing out on something important (like a Dylan without a Guthrie [not to compare myself to either, perhaps a Daniel Larusso w/out a Mr. Miyagi is a more accurate or just less grandiose analogy]) Also, I’m bored frequently and really like reading.

2. Why on my 21^st?[2] Although the popular myth goes that you are officially a consenting adult once you have lived outside the womb for 18 years, the law in America seems to point to the contrary. I believe that once you are 21 years-old you are an adult in the most accurate sense of the word. Therefore, I consider age 21 the point at which one must officially shake the yoke of inauspicious childhood and begin considering oneself truly a grown-up. And I have as of late been giving serious thought to the kind of adult I’d like to be. After much deliberation, I have decided I want to be the kind of adult who has read all 100 of the best novels since 1923.

3. Do I really think I can pull this off? Yes, sort of. I’ve given the entire list a good once over and really considered my ability to trudge through every novel (I’m looking at you Teddy Dreiser). [3] I know there will be many novels that present an arduous challenge just to get halfway through, but there is a sort of masochistic appeal thereof that I like to think only mountain-climbers or UFC fighters can relate to. Furthermore, I am currently reading the longest and most complex novel on the list: Infinite Jest and am quite literally tearing ass through it.[4]

4. Haven’t I already read some of novels on the list? The short answer: Yes. The long answer: Yes, but not as an adult in the sense that I have previously wrote about. The difference is that when I read the books “Infinite Jest,” “Beloved,” “Catch-22,” “The Catcher in the Rye,” “The Great Gatsby,” “Invisible Man,” “Lord of the Flies,” “Naked Lunch,” “1984,” “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” “The Painted Bird,” “Slaughterhouse Five,” and “To Kill a Mockingbird” I considered myself a kid. A large part of this undertaking is to carve from the girth of experiences accrued up until now a sense of personal identity and a streamlined self-perspective and an understanding of where I stand within my space on Planet Earth. Thus far, nothing has challenged my notions of identity, morality, politics, entertainment, art, love, grief, philosophy or tragedy like novels. Novels have changed me, and through this endeavor I hope to be further changed (for the better).[5] I hope these books will provide a kind of scaffolding or lens through which to view the experiences of my adult life.

5. When do I expect to finish? I have no idea. I will however be keeping a blog of my experiences up until and throughout the undertaking. As a creative writing major, I’ve been desperately searching for a reason to sit down and hammer out a few sentences more frequently than I actually do. Throughout this process I hope not only to become a better reader (and by extension, person) but also a better writer. The blog will represent a sort of academic/sociospiritual journal of the development of an adult. [6] Wish me luck.

---

[1] Unfortunate technical foul called on St. John’s after some lip service paid to an over-zealous referee with an itchy whistle and a bone to pick with a power forward whose propensity for “chicken winging” opponents while setting screens has apparently been a point of contention throughout the first half.

[2] Avodart may cause tenderness of the breasts in men.

[3] Three-pointers made off the backboard, although they are three-pointers, are still humiliating for the shooter in a kind of one-of-those-things-players-understand-but-is-largely-not-considered-by-the-audience kind of way; on par with missing an un-contested layup; speaking from both spectatorial and athletic experience. It marks, in my opinion, the most interesting double-bind in basketball between pride and humiliation.

[4] Literally is a term violently misunderstood by my generation to instead mean hyperbolically. I was being ironic.

[5] UCONN’s obstinacy on staying within ten points while St. John’s struggles breaking their full-court (MAN!) press is irritating to say the least. It’s a good thing they can’t rebound to save their lives.

[6] St. John’s is currently up 70 to 48 with less than two minutes left to play. Alright St. John’s.